Sarah

I have been trying to figure out, all week, what to say about this. I feel that today, her birthday, is a good time, and after yesterday, I feel ready. I realized, finally, I do not want to share a string of Sarah-moments; I do not want to write a eulogy. Her friendship was such a blessing to me, and it was because of her efforts that we were--are--friends.

I can tell you that I don't really think of her as past tense, and it isn't because of denial, oh you skeptics. I can tell you that when I think of Sarah qua Sarah, I am not sad for her. She loved Jesus and Mary with her whole heart and soul and mind and body, from the very deepest depths of her being, and I know she is with them. And here's where being Catholic beats any other religion upside the head, because we are the only ones who understand and believe in the communion of saints. I am not in denial or delusional when I feel confidence that she still is alive, far more alive than I am, and that her friendship still is with me.

photo credit Lori Elizabeth Photography

She is a saint. I do not mean that at all in a sentimental or saccharine way, but as a plain statement of fact. Her whole desire was to live out what Catholics call "the domestic Church." The family is the first and most fundamental living out of faith, and as Catholic families we are called to be the greatest witness of Christ crucified, resurrected, and ascended. We are responsible for showing the rest of the world what that looks like in the quotidian. Sarah absolutely was unashamed to be this witness. She was on fire for her family to live out this mission to the fullest, in every detail. She is the patron saint of the domestic Church, of homeschooling mothers, of special needs children. It was not always easy for her, but she never wavered because her focus was pure and true.

photo credit Sarah Harkins

I have wondered since I moved here why God put us here, here in this city--and I have always felt strongly that He put us here, tiresome as it has, at times, seemed, instead of closer to the friends I already have. I am not good at making friends; I am not good at reaching out; I am not good at trusting people. I really haven't, honestly, been interested in changing. I've been told too many deeply wounding things by my "best" friends to be interested in making more, unless they're kinda shoved in my face. But I know now. It makes sense. I have so much peace about it. He put me here so I could know Sarah. So I could be healed through her and follow her example.



Image by Meg Berger

Thank you, Sarah, for reaching out to me. Thanks for being stubborn and not giving up on me. Thanks for your words, and for your confidence in me. Thank you for leaving me with a group of such amazingly awesome women. Thanks for your example, and thank you for your intercession. Pray for me. Pray for us. I know you are.

To donate for the care of Sarah's children, please visit youcaring.com/harkinschildren  or www.gofundme.com/c9t0j8