growing pains

already it's been nearly a week since we moved. i can hardly believe it--time has gone from slipping steadily away to flying by in lightspeed. it's amazing what a few days can do!
unpacking is predictably slow, which is hard for me. i crave order, and i want it NOW. slowing down has been difficult to my nature, but not to this new way of living. even though we still have only our "city" animals here: small dog "romeo" (we did NOT name him), kitty tiptoes, bunny moon, + a stray kitty that we are calling Black Susan because we are reading The Little House in the Big Woods (i am desperately hoping it is, in fact, Black Susan and not, for instance, Black Sam) . . . okay, that sentence got way out of control. the point being, although we do not have proper farm animals, there always is so much to DO on a farm, in the country, and life both slows down, because living in rhythm with the land is so much more human than city life, even just small-town city life, but also evanescent, because the demands of house and home and property always call. it feels so, so "right" to be here. finn hated the house in town; he did not want to be there, he did not want to explore, he did not want to play in the yard by himself. he never wanted to go home. even in these few short days, he already asks to "please go back to the farm" whenever we are out. maybe he, like myself, can scarcely believe the reality of it. he is most excited for the horses and chickens to come, and i am so excited for him. it rained today, a good, steady, soaking rain. while it prevented me from harvesting the figs, the boys couldn't wait to get out in it. we have a porch that opens onto both the front and kitchen doors, and the boys love to play there. it is a safe place, where they feel close to the house and to me, while i tackle the seeming-endless boxes: a home base from which they can begin to explore their new domain. the yard fence around the house, too, i think gives them a sense of security. it is a clear boundary for the, so they are not faced with the too-daunting (or, in alex's case, too tempting!) task of exploring all 14 acres at once. to see them play outside, repeating activities and finding new ones, unafraid to be there, knowing i was within call . . . peaceful, energizing, exciting, glorious.
i wish so badly i had photos, but i could not find the camera.
the seller is an amazing young-old man (UD-ers, think non-smoking, non-Catholic dr. alvis. this guy's definitely a marlboro man) who was hoping to retire to the family property and life carried a different way. his realtor was telling us today that he wanted to have a family here who loved it, and we do. it feels like home.
many things this week have not been easy, but the challenges have been manageable. the only was i can think to say it is that God wanted--wants--us here, and for the first time in such a long time, i seem to feel His Hand and His Will. it is a scary thing to feel those again, because trust is so, so scary, even when it involves such enormous blessings. because blessings always carry such responsibility! but in a way that channel His grace in the most incredible ways.