smelling the roses

you know, i really wish i could be consistent with capitalization. one part of me says, "uphold the standards of the English language!" and another part says, "eh, why bother? what's the big deal all about, anyway"? and thus.  . . . and completely irrelevant, but why not begin this way?
because what i was going to say was about rushing around with children. we were walking down the block to my fiddle lesson today, and since Finn walked up & down the street with me the other day, i decided to eschew the stroller today, as well. he did well, wanting to walk the whole way by himself but holding my hand with no fuss across the street. as we were pididdling away, i found myself (surprise surprise) fighting against impatience. but why? i had left plenty of time to get there (and we still got there early, even), and yah, it was hot today (and how!) but still not as hot, or about as hot, i guess, as a regular summer day in dallas. yet i found myself chomping at the bit, having to curb myself every couple of steps from saying "come on now, Finn. let's go." when all he was doing was exploring the world--his world! noticing rocks and cracks and different textures, feeling the difference between the grass and the sidewalk, experimenting with different steps (oh, a boy after my own heart!). and i need to let him; more than let him, i need to help him! because that is my role as a mother, as a parent: not to teach him to rush madly through the world, but to allow him and encourage him to notice things.
not surprisingly, i was playing sharp today--i cannot seem to let go of the rush and the tension. but at least i was able to allow my son to do so. our children can teach us such incredible things if we are humble enough--and patient!